Skip to main content
I'm so lonely today. Shep hasn't even been gone 24 hours and all I can do is miss him. I guess it will get better. The first couple days must be the hardest. Plus, I have a wicked sore throat. I'm feeling vulnerable and sad and sick. And I wish he was here.

Why did we decide to go at different times? It doesn't really make sense, does it? Mom brought up something today that kick started the guilt wheel.

"I think your father would have liked the whole family to be there".

I immediately got defensive. I think because today is probably the worst day for me to have to defend why we're going separately because right now, I don't know either!!!

Sounded like a good idea at the time.

I realized this afternoon though, something in my subconscious surfaced. I think I wanted Shep to experience this on his own.

Maybe in a way I feel like I've already done the "i-have-no-place-to-call-home" thing. This 'finding yourself and learning about yourself cause you're by yourself' thing.

I think maybe I wanted him to experience it because it was so rewarding for me. I think deep down, that might be why I encouraged him to do that.

Doesn't stop me from missing him terribly.

My throat hurts. My heart hurts more.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I'm baaaack!

Hard to believe that last entry was almost three years ago! Many moons ago, I set this blog up to chronicle our journeys. Once we were grounded a bit more, it kind of lost its way. I spent some time working on my writing offline, taking on different projects and working full time as a technical writer. It was difficult to keep this blog up. Not for any real reason I can articulate. Just had my words redirected to other avenues for awhile. But, I'm pleased to say, after over a decade away, we are back in the UK, living and re-experiencing a place we enjoyed in the mid-2000s. Social media has certainly changed the way we look at blogs. I'm excited to navigate this new world, explore just what people post, what people read. What's better on one of the many new platforms and what's still appropriate for good old fashioned blogosphere. For now, here's a peek at where we're staying -- in a pretty little village just outside of Oxford. A temporary home ...
2 comments
Read more

They Started a Heat Wave

(sing) a tropical heat wave.... (White Christmas fans? anyone? c'mon..) Yes, there is a heat wave, with warm sun and highs of 30 but NOT HERE IN KOREA. Yes, it is warm and humid but there is no sun. Do you want to know where the sun has ended up? BELFAST!! Lucky bastards....I wanted a tan by August gosh darnit - I should have stayed with the Guinness. And, it wouldn't have been a day on this blog without some reference to the weather. The weekend was a nice long relaxing one but super panic hit on Monday night and I was ready to get out of the house. I was freaking out yet again about the garbage (what the hell is wrong with me?) and didn't have a great sleep. There is something to be said for cooping yourself up in your house to watch English speaking DVDs for a day. But I think this only stops you from experiencing the culture. I did venture out on Saturday by bus (whoa, crazy bus drivers) to Pusan where the open markets you can barter and get cheap shirts - thanks to my...
8 comments
Read more

Happy Big 5-0 The Momma

I'm sending out these wishes to a woman who is probably as I type enjoying some Carib beer or a nice glass of red wine at a beach bar in sunny Barbados. I'm pretty sure she won't be logging on today to see this entry. We had a mini celebration when the whole family was together for H's wedding for my mom's big day. She has never been one to like much of a fuss and surprises annoy her mostly so it was a low key lunch followed by, a few momento gifts but no cake or singing, because in addition to not enjoying surprises, she also does not like drawing attention to herself in public. (And for the last fact, I think all of us Vint kids should get DNA testing since I'm not quite sure how the loudest, attention seeking people could actually have been spawned from one so publicly timid) Last night, I started to think about my mom and how this is big birthday. They always talk about the big 5-0, middle age, over the hill, time to buy the red sports car and get yourself a...
2 comments
Read more