Monday, August 30, 2004

NOT a slacker

I've been quiet because there are some exciting things going on here and I just want to wait until their all settled.

It's hard to simply write as though nothing spectacular is happening so I'd rather just be fairly silent until at least I get through til the end of the week.

I know I know, I have the laptop. Couldn't I simply spend 10 minutes coming up with something?

Perhaps since my Olympic flame has been extinguished for another 2 years.

But then again, they've just started showing the new episodes of the O.C. here...

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

It Actually Worked

To my surprise, when I got home from work yesterday, there was a message on my answering machine.

I panicked for about 7 mintutes while I tried to remember my password because I never check it because no one actually ever seems to leave us messages.

But somehow I just knew.

When I finally got through, I squealed at the sound of the voice. It was E's mom, letting me know I was one of the first people she called.

Mr. T.H. was born around 7:00 EST Tuesday morning, August 24, 2004.

The same time I was writing him his letter - 12:00 GMT.

What a weird cosmic vibe it was that flew from my fingertips, across the ocean and into the hospital delivery room.

Welcome to the world, tiger.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Letter #1 to the Kid


It's time. It's really really time.

It does seem like yesterday I had this phone conversation with your mom, E, my very best friend from high school:

Your mom: "Well, I have something to tell you."

Me aka Aunt A: Oh. My. God.

Your mom:

Me: Oh. My. God. Oh. My God.

Your mom: "I'm pregnant"

AHHHHH. In that one sentence, our entire friendship flashed before my eyes. I suddenly realized that we were onto the next level. We were becoming, eh-em, the OLDER generation.

My excitement was more then I could contain. I was screaming with delight. She was laughing on the other line, saying she couldn't wait to tell me because she knew my reaction would be the best.

I wanted to run to her house. Give her a hug and make her some broccolli. You will like broccolli won't you? Because it's quite good for you. All that folic acid and stuff.

(And if you don't like red wine, well don't blame me! I tried to tell her it was good for you but...)

I'm not quite sure what you're waiting for. I could not think of two cooler people to be parents.

Your dad D is a basketball fanatic. He's also a fantastic coach. I felt bad when I laughed at him when he suggested he was going to run for town council.

You can probably make fun of him about it because, well, dads are nerds and geeks and say really embarassing things so I'm sure him being a councillor will be totally embarassing but you'll learn to deal.

I only laughed because I remember your dad in high school and not the man he has turned out to be. He is a dedicated member to our Small Town and it would be lucky place if he put his energy into making it better. Once you become a teenager, though, you will probably most definitely think him un-cool. That means he's doing a great job at being a dad.

Your mom is a person who is instinctively a mom. So responsible. So caring. So attentive.

She listens. You can ramble on for hours - drunk or sober, although I would not recommend getting drunk in front of your mom until you're AT LEAST 30 because well, just leave the drunk rambles to me - and she will sit there, with a sympathetic face, just hearing you. When you finally finish, she will say something that just makes it all better.

She gives advice. But not the kind that makes you want to freak out because someone is telling you what to do. Just real honest advice. And you find yourself taking it, because it just always makes sense.

Makes tea. First lesson: Tea really does fix everything. Period.

She makes cinnamon rolls for goodness sake. Will you not be the hippest dude on the block? Chicks will also dig it but again, no worrying about them until you're at least 30.

She's totally laid back. I doubt you'll get in trouble, like ever, especially if you're cute, which I have no doubt you will be. I've never seen her yell at anyone, although you may want to check with your dad about that one.

Most importantly, whatever life event/adventure you decided to embark on, she will always be there for you.

No. Matter. What.

She will always be as excited as you are. She will always take the adventure "with" you. She will never be jealous or envious. She will just always be happy for you.

I don't think you realize how set you really are.

So the reason why I'm writing to you today is that you're almost a week overdue and my head is going to explode soon if you don't hurry up and make an appearance.

Your mom and dad have been very patient. Your grandparents have also been very patient. Your Uncle M and Aunt R have been waiting. You big bro C the doggie is waiting to leap on and lick you.

Your Aunt A has also been patient. She has missed your growing She has missed your mom also growing. She will also miss your arrival. All of these things tug at her heart to the point that she thinks of busting out the plastic and getting a cheap flight home just to see your tiny, newborn face.

So, before I sink myself into further debt, please appear little dude.

And don't think that's the last bossy letter you'll ever get from me.

It's only just begun.

Friday, August 20, 2004

Perfect Creativity?

I used to relish methodical work of updating content on web pages. Zoning into the screen. Clicking, almost rhythmically from program to program, Ctrl C, Ctrl V, watching it all fit into place.

It was just text. Simple text in notepad or the text module of the content manager. Just letters, 26 different ones mixed up in millions of different configurations, to make up what looked like a screen of a foreign language.

I could work for hours, just highlighting...copying...switch programs...pasting, getting lost in the monotony but taking great care.

Because anyone who has worked on code knows that one little character in the wrong place and it will all go haywire.

But it could be a hidden mistake, one that you wouldn't notice until you were brave enough to take a look at the graphical masterpiece the letters had had created.

Preview...launch browser...voila.

And there it was, suddenly, all the letters made a beautiful piece of work, that came alive with colour and texture. A 6 digit sequence created vibrant tones. Such a satisfying feeling.

More so, I think, than perhaps the creating a drawing or a painting. You begin to see these pieces of art unfold in front of your eyes. You can see the beauty, perhaps, before you are finished.

But a webpage, well, you can wait right until the end to see the masterpiece you've created. You can fiddle away with numbers and letters in a simple text document and then, have an unveiling of all your hard work.

And there's enjoyment - similar to that of a treasure hunt - when you're challenged to find what is making the border go wonky or the code appear on the page. What tiny character have I misplaced? What digit is not in exactly the correct position?

This exactness, the absolute intolerance of the code for variation, this is my math. The creative world's answer to having a definite way to create.

Part of me likes the chaos of creativity. The other part likes the certainty of web code.
Create to perfection.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Love of the Laptop

For the first time in a few months, D headed to bed before me. We tend to make it a habit to always go to bed together at the same time. And, while he wasn't impressed that I was not following our cute routine, I had to confess that I was having an affair.

I needed to stay up with my beloved laptop. The machine that allows me to write away, organize files, schedule tasks.

It even allowed me to write a blog entry. Of course, when I read it this morning, it seemed a little too much for the blog. I think perhaps I'll keep my thoughts of body image, fad diets and healthy lifestyles to myself. (It didn't seem controversial at 11 at night however, the morning has brought some clarity)

Ideas are racing through my head and now I have an outlet. I am so happy. So so happy. I am so ecstatic that it's only a little thing like having a new love in my life can turn my productivity around.

My long term goals don't seem that far away any more because I have the power of the keyboard, WHENEVER I LIKE, to kick my butt into gear.

And all those little secrets I'm still keeping I'm still waiting to hear back from. I got up the courage to contact a few people that could give me answers, only to hear that I still...must...wait.
At least I have the love of the laptop.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Very Very Bad

I now have a laptop. I have no excuse. Except, perhaps my Olympic Fever.

I promise to stop making excuses about writing and just write....

But I'll just watch these Gymnastic trials and then...

Monday, August 16, 2004

Olympic Fever

It is quite odd to be watching the UK footage of the Olympics.

For as long as I can remember, I have watched from the Canadian perspective, including interviews with Canadian athletes, stories of their triumphs and struggles, pictures of them suited in the red and white maple leaf attire.

This year, I have no idea who is actually competing for my country.

For the first time in a long time, I watched the Opening Ceremony from start to finish. I just wanted to make sure I saw the Canadian team and all the flags in the stands.

I have been pouring over the TV guide, making sure I know what time the events are on so I can make the most of the Olympic Games.

This is also the first year that I have actually been to the venue. Athens, a city that I did not have much to write home about, really does seem transformed. Although most of the wide shots are of the Acropolis, you can tell the visitors are impressed. I, like many who have been to Athens pre-Olympics, was so skeptical as to how they were going to pull it off.

Even as late at May 2003, I was shaking my head and wondering how this city of grime, pollution and construction was going to turn itself world class in just over a year. Sounds like they've made it.

I am exhilarated to be watching for the next two weeks. By simply competing fairly, citizens of the world are respecting and accepting each other, no matter their race, creed, nationality, sexuality. Everyone is equal. Everyone is given a chance. And everyone is permitted to celebrate their country pride amongst others who are as equally proud of their way of life.

Living abroad you learn to accept the way things are done and respect the differences. You appreciate your home, your way of life. But you also respect the differences and embrace them as simply another way of life.

The Olympics allows people to sit in their homes and get a small glimpse into the many different nations of the world. Amongst all the war and destruction that goes on, at least we can all pause for a couple of weeks and celebrate all of humankind.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Words to Live By

Having an amazing break. Seeing family get excited about a place you feel at home in is such a liberating experience. You don't need their approval but it helps to let you know that you did make such a fantastic decision.

I'm saving my writing for the next issue of Mosaic Minds, which we're busy writing away on, but I just wanted to share this post because that Alex the Girl always makes heaps of sense.

I'm with ya sister

Something else I've been thinking about: Don't be afraid to change your plans. Life really is the journey and not the destination.

Friday, August 06, 2004

Maxxing, Relaxxing and Leaping

I'll be away from blogging for the next week as we're having our SECOND VISITORS to Belfast! D's parents will be staying for the week and I'm more excited then I can share. It's so wonderful to be able to show your life to the people you care about.

Plus, could use another break for the brain. I seem to be needing a lot of those lately. Just want to keep my motivation up.

And I can't think of a more fitting post to be on the site while I'm away for a week.

I read this on a blog today (Sunday August 01 entry).

"A ship in a harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are built for"

Way to go Penelope. No matter what happens, you will never regret this.

I'll never stop loving leaping stories. Brings a smile to my face, a tear to my eye and a hug on my heart to hear people "living it".

Thursday, August 05, 2004

No Word

I haven't heard back yet.

I'm just waiting.

I'm too chicken to call and find anything out.

Especially since D's parents are coming for a visit this weekend!

The last thing I need is to be feeling rejected when they're around.

Still feeling positive about things, although it's a bit scary how September looms and we don't seem to be any closer to the "place" we wanted to be here in Belfast.

Once the summer is over, we will have no excuse. Perhaps then it will be scarier.

Not as scary, though, as the fact that my current contract will probably run out in October. I can't believe I might have to start up another temp job, put all the effort into understanding a business and the people in it for a temporary period.

A sudden change of plans, perhaps somewhere in the Medeterrainean might be in the cards.

Yum. Greek food for eternity.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Holy Guacamole

Is it possible there are angels or beings or aliens above that have decided to wind me up?

Is it possible that on Friday I saw a job advertised that was the job I said I wanted last year while working in Leeds?

The actual OLD THING that I was originally excited about having but then felt like it was weighing me down and now that I maybe am okay with the OLD THING not happening the powers that be decide to dangle it right there in front of me?


I hate to not post it - because it really is killing me that I haven't been able to make public my other two gems - but I think this route seems to be bringing me the opportunities that I keep dreaming up in my head.

What the freak is going on???!!!???

Could someone please pinch me or smack me or throw water all over me just so I know this is actualy happening???

I'm really nervous and excited and scared and shocked. How is it that the universe has dropped yet another golden egg in my lap and said, "Here you go, here's your chance"?

Do they not understand that I am still tense with anticipation for the other two exciting adventures I'm still waiting to hear back from? My heart cannee take it!!! It WILL explode!!!

They're asking for a resume and a cover letter. A LETTER???!! That's all I get. I don't even know where to start.

I'm am on cloud 9 and perhaps because nothing has yet come back as a definite "NO" so I think it might have even been easier to take if I could have at least had one of my creative journeys resolved but at the moment they're both hanging in the air and this!!!!

I am by no means kicking any gift horse in the mouth. And I haven't even applied for this yet! My optimism sometimes gets the best of me as I'm already planning what I want to wear to my interview.

I never thought I'd say this but:

Good things come to those who wish.