Tuesday, July 06, 2010

It's All Gravy

Last week, I was wandering through a bookstore, soaking in all the wonderful-ness that comes with wandering around a store filled with stories, I was hit with a bit of inspiration.

I've certainly been at a cross roads before. Certainly had the opportunity to make a choice one way or the other way. And for many years, my perfectionist self consistently want to make sure I was doing things the RIGHT way.

Whether it's age or experiences or the west coast air, I think I've slowly come to the realization that in essence, it doesn't really matter which path you take as long as you're always moving forward.

I tweeted "Accept that your life could go in many directions, all fulfiling, and you will fear less about making mistakes...".

And since today I emerged from a bit of virus hell (sorry all those who may have had to come along the ride with me) I was reminded of this tweet and it made me think about it all over again.

I could be a travel writer. I could be a publicist for a book company. I could keep tech writing. I could go back to school and become a doctor, a lawyer, a diplomat. I could become a mother. I could go live on an island, off the grid. I could go back to being a journalist. I could cover wars.

But I'm pretty sure, I can't do them all. And I'm pretty sure that each day seems to bring new feelings, emotions, new instincts about where this path is taking me.

And while this may seem obvious to all of those reading or perhaps I've stated this before just in a way I wasn't fully understanding it or for that matter, it may be so simplistic that you can even fathom how I WOULDN'T understand it but really, what matters is that I am just still going. Still doing. Still being.

I guess I just really feel ready to be ok with not doing everything on the list that I thought someday I would do. That I'm ok with taking more risks, that maybe put in even different places then I expected. That I'm ok with the decisions I'm making because I know I'm instinctively making them for a reason.

And so all the good things that happen along the road? All the bad things? All the things? Well, they're really just added bonuses. Because the life bit comes in the CHOOSING. The rest of it is just gravy.