Thursday, February 24, 2005

Fresh new start

Changing my focus here. Quantity not necessarily quality.

Quality will come with time. But I need to continue writing regularly if I'm going to write at all.

And so today, I have a question for all your horkers and spitters of the world.

What is it about slurping up a loogy in your mouth, pursing your lip muscles into a round shape and throwing it with your tounge out into the wide air to land on places where people walk?

Some people question smokers and ask why they think the world is their ashtray.

At least cigarettes can be picked up.

At least cigarettes are not gooey and sticky and wet.

Let's try and keep our personal liquids to ourselves. We don't pee in the streets. Keep your goobers in your mouth.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Jeans Peace

I found my peace

You can not describe in words the way a good pair of jeans feels.

There is some eurphoric satisfaction in putting on a pair of jeans that make you feel whole.

My most productive days are in jeans. Good jeans. The ones that make you feel as though you are not even wearing clothes.

Work wear now includes casual Fridays. I am most productive when I am in my jeans. Do employers not realise this?

I am not much of a shopper, for those of you who know me, you may already know this.

I enjoy buying things if they are on sale and if I can justify them more than a night out in Prague.

When I put my mind to purchasing an item that requires more than a bargain, I will shop around.

As I read in Glamour this week, I am actually more like a guy shopper. Infrequent shopping for high quality items. Long research process.

I started at the Gap. The King of Jeans. I was highly disappointed, which made the search all that more labourous. If I could not find a pair of jeans that I loved at the epicentre of jeans, where would they be found?

I ventured off to the less expensive jeans shops but not the Biways or Walmarts of shops. I found some that I could have loved but there was not pure unadulterated passion so I moved on.

In the UK, there is a store called Next. It is my favourite shop because it is colour coded. Someone must have done their market research on shopper like myself.

Every aisle you venture down is specific to colours. Reds. Greens. Blues.
Perfect for the person who subconscioulsy buys the same colour...all...the...time.

I had assumed I would have to pay at least 50 quid (50 pounds) for a pair of solid jeans. I only went to check them out because a lady at work said she found a maternity pair for 20 quid.

I took 5 pairs into the changeroom with me, pleasantly surprised they were all under 35 quid.

It was only after the sales lady suggested a pair that someone had handed back to her. "here", she said "what about these?".

I can say that I was a bit desperate as I had a hen 'do' to go to on Friday night and wanted to look a bit stylish.

When you're a shopper like me, you tend to have zero new clothes and need an updated 'everything' for your wardrobe.

I tried them on.

You know the waist bit? The part which you can never decide whether or not to go fully low cut and let your pudge hang out or to granny-it-up with the high cut over the belly jeans?

This pair was the first that seemed to have the perfect compromise. My gut was not hanging over and yet I didn't feel like I was wearing granny pants when I had them on.

They were the perfect colour - a dark sophisticated denim that you could actually pull off if you were going for a casual work event with a splash of fun-night-out-ness.

I couldn't believe it. I had found a perfect pair of jeans, after searching for a good pair for 3 weeks.

The price tag sealed the deal. 21.99. Someone was peeking down on me.
When I went to the counter, prepared to pay the full amount, I was presently surprised when the cashier said 15.99.

Being the novice shopper and pathetically honest person that I am, I couldn't help but blurt out "oh, are they on sale?"

She looked at me with a grin.

"Uh, I don't know," she said. "I just ring them in. But the less I know, the better."

Yes, what WAS I THINKING? Who points out that they are getting an item with a 1/4 of the price off?

"oh," I laughed embarrassingly, "yes, I guess you're right. where do I sign?"
I walked out of the store triumphant. The quintessential bargain shopper was willing to pay top dollar for a pair of jeans that made her feel like a billion bucks.

Not only did I love them, they were a third of the price I had expected to pay when I decided to buy myself a wicked ass pair of jeans.

If only I could wear them every day.

Serenity now.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Dear Diary

Dear Diary - why is it every time I open you up to write, the last entry always begins with: "Wow, I can' t belive how long it has been since I've written!"?

Reasons why I am a "lazy git".

1 - Because instead of taking 10 minutes at night to write a blog, I plop in front of the tube and watch episodes of Friends that I have seen a gazillion times but continue to howl each time I see them.

2 - Because if I missed the "saturday-morning-house-clean" because I'm away with work, I don't actually make up the time, I just wait until the next saturday.

3 - Because I got to bed before midnight and can't drag my ass up before 8 am.

4 - Because I am happy to use the excuse that because D is on the computer, I must take full advantage of having the remote control to myself.

5 - Because even though the gym is closer than the bus stop, I still can only manage 4 times a week, averaging 6 hours. Way to go, fitness freak.

6 - Because I used to be good at writing letters, sending cards and emails but now I'm crap.

7 - Because I have 85 emails in my inbox!! who has that in PERSONAL email? And what exactly am I keeping it for?

8 - Because I've just spent this entire entry giving you excuses for why I haven't written, and in the end, have not really written anything that interesting.