Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Some Random Thoughts

My sister is so cute the way she uses her left hand to talk MORE THAN I HAVE EVER SEEN, subconsciously showing off her amazing rock that dreamy K got her.

She is also a huge nerd for have labeled inboxes on her home desk that say 'c to pay', 'c to file', 'k to pay', 'k to file'...like she's running a little empire from her studio flat.

Hangovers must come from cigarettes because I have never felt better each morning since I arrived.

That the air conditioning is totally deiciving and I am glad I only packed summer dresses to wear for the next two 30 degrees sorching weeks.

Holiday suck when they go by quickly but this one is going at the perfect rate.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

The BBQ

There is simply something about sun.

Something about the way it makes you feel when you are sitting in the backyard of a familiar home, amongst family, with the yellow circle beating its light down on you.

You don't really realise how much you miss it until you are able to sit in front of it. Feel you skin burn with the red sensation of a summer 'tan'. Feel the warmth in the air, not simply in the sun.

I lived for over 20 years of this being my summer. I have only lived without it for a full summer and I feel like I've stopped breathing.

If you were to take a survey today and asked me where I wanted to be, I have to say it is not where I am currently paying rent.

I can only hope that in two weeks time I will have put into perspecitve all that is Canada and stop worshiping it.

For today, it is a place for me, full of red and white flags, that holds not only all that is dear, but all that is me.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Countdown

This week has gone slowly and quickly all at the same time.

I'm nervous we'll arrive late for our flight.

I'm giddy about the prospect of putting on my bikini tomorrow afternoon. (who ever thought you could actually be giddy about being in your bathing suit?)

I'm nervous about reading at one of my oldest friend's weddings.

I tired of being at my desk.

I'm worried I will forget something.

I'm so so happy that I will soon be home.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Caffeine

I decided two weeks ago to go on a detox in an effort to:

a) give my body a rest from all the creative festivities I have partaken in this past spring

b) give my wallet a rest so that I can spend away again once I arrive back home

c) continue to experiment with my biological make up as it facinates me the way we can be our own science experiments

I weaned myself off tea and it took a whole week. I decided I didn't want something to have that control over me again and so, I no longer intake caffeine.

This is quite big.

I have been drinking Tim Horton's coffee since the age of 15. This could explain why I'm so short and hyper.

In university, I graduated to Starbucks, probably thinking in some annoying early-twenties-self-absorbed way that I need to become more distingued as I got older and but ultimately, only made the money in my wallet disappear faster.

When 2 grande Starbucks a day finally caught up with my stomach, I switched to tea.

I didn't realize that I had become so dependant on tea until last week.

And so, I think I must now end my love affair with the drug. It's been a wild ride, filled with double-quadruples and grande lattes. But there is a time for everything to end.

Thank goodness for decaf earl grey tea.

Now, if I could only stick to my birthday resolution of no smoking...

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Thoughts on Creativity

I have decided to add a few things to this blog along the sidebar in the hopes that this information will change every day.

This may also get me writing again every day.

Someone made an interesting point to me about working in creative industries that if your day job includes creativity, you may have less of it to devote to your creative hobbies.

This is actually true.

I have often wondered myself why I have struggled on occasion recently to write daily here when this is something that I have been doing ever since I could pick up a pen.

My work was being published when I was 16 in a newspaper where I worked as paid reporter. Not only was I writing news articles, I was writing two weekly columns.

Writing does just come to me sometimes and I feel a bit lost when words don't flow out the end of my fingers.

I realise, however, I am actually in the luckiest situation. They always say if you do what you love you will ultimately succeed. I have always tried to live by this, which I why I left the Coulda Woulda Shoulda world of my life and job in Toronto and moved abroad to find out what is it that I really wanted to be when I grew up?

They're paying me for it now. I get to be creative all day long and I get paid for it.

That's why sadly, this blog is sometimes neglected. It's only now, after surfacing from the spring title launches and book signings and media chatting that I am actually able to step back and take five minutes to actually write something...anything.

I suppose not being able to be creative independently of work might be a casulty of doing the job you love.

I don't walk into bookshops now and think, all, lovely shop, I'll just wander around. My brain actually turns on. I'm constantly scanning the covers, watching the placements, checking out the publishers.

Any yet, it is still throughly enjoyable. It's a strange feeling to know you're working and to actually not mind.

One of my colleagues and I have quite a bit in common and so we share nights out on occasion out of work. But we ultimately find, we end up talking about work. Coming up with strategies. Exchanging ideas, information. I always feel I'm the one with the most questions and steering the subject around work but at the end, she always admits to enjoying work chats herself.

I don't like to write too much about work on this blog because I feel I want this to be a personal space for me, not to mention I'm not interested in being dooced.

But I did want to write about what has been happening to my creative process. That I do still feel I am intensely creative. It just seems that not, perhaps, in the way I was when I worked in an office filing paper.

*****
On another note, Mosaic Minds is going through a restructure and are looking for new columnists. If you've got some creativity you need to unleash, check it out.

Friday, June 10, 2005

End of Stage

An important stage of my creative development has just ended and I'm not sure how to feel.

I suppose I will reflect more when I get back from holiday.

Change should always be about a new beginning. Things don't end, they simply transform.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Country Roads Take Me Home

I will be home, in Canada, in less than 2 weeks.

This will be the first time I have had a proper holiday at home.

It will be a whirlwind.

I hope it doesn't go too fast.

It's taken long enough to even get close.

I am SO EXCITED!!!!!

**********

Congrats to my friends L and S on the news that a little O.M.C has been born. A couple of weeks early and a labour that was shorter than an episode of the OC, L seems to already be settling in well as a super mom.

L helped to mold my interest in event planning and real marketing. She also was such a kind soul and a great asset to my career growth.

She also throws great BBQs, even though her liquor cabinet got a bit sparse by 4 am.

Guys - so happy for you. Can't wait to meet him.