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What a terrifying feeling. I have never felt so anxious! At least, I can't remember. It must have felt a little like this for university. Then again, I don't know. I think I would remember this.

Last night I had a panic attack. I think it just hit me that Shep is leaving next week. Wow.

I'm trying to put things into perspective but the mind and emotions are powerful things.

At least I'm learning something. Isn't this what I've always wanted? To keep learning.

I actually had the thought on the weekend that I didn't want to go anymore. I recognized a pattern in my life behaviour. My bark is bigger than my bite. I suddenly felt like, "no no no no no...I don't want to go...forget it.."

To stay? To stay for what?

All just part of experience. It will be interesting to see when I can write on a more regular basis what I have to say.

Have to finish the itinerary this week.

Ugg...

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