Coulda Woulda Shoulda

When I left home for university in the fall of 1995, I had my heart set on seeing the big wide world. Well, at least seeing the big wide Toronto where I would be going to school. My first night in residence was like a grown up slumber party. Over excited and adrenaline pumped teenagers huddling together in common rooms. Except instead of Coke and chocolate to send our sugar levels soaring, it was fruit juice and vodka...or wine...or beer. And so it then became home. Living amongst your peers brings you so close to people that you can't help but exclaim to all of them, at every moment, of every day, 'we'll be friends forever'. It felt like home. It's only once March hits and you don't find your roomates anal retentiveness all that cute or her habit of bringing back men all that sassy. It ceases to be a place of comfort and becomes one to be escaped. And so, I decided to move in with those chosen from the house who I felt most comfortable with. It ended up being o...

A year ago I was wondering what D and I would do in a new city, only two weeks in, without any friends and FOUR DAYS OFF. Over here, you get a long Easter break. There is no school 'March' or 'Spring' break. There is 'Easter Break'. This perhaps comes from the religious influence however, not going down that road so I will digress. I remember feeling happy last year. We both had jobs. Had a lovely, new, centrally located flat that we could relax in for FOUR DAYS. But I have to admit, I was also feeling a bit cheated. Or perhaps I felt more like I WAS CHEATING. People wait for the Easter long weekend all year. (That and the 12th of July holiday as it is also two days off but again, not getting into it. DIGRESSING MORE!) But here I was, two weeks into a new adventure of work and adjustment and I was getting an ill-deserved break. I have so many friends back home who I knew deserved a four day weekend off more than I did. I had just spent four months, mooching off ...

Could it actually be that I'm sitting my house, posting on my blog??? Internet at home. Sa-weet. I DEFNITIELY have no excuse now. Except that I'm a bit tired and want to nap. Quantity will bring quality. Yes, it will. But sleep right now will bring happiness.

I feel like I could muster up something quite clever to write if only I could perhaps stop my brain from thinking of the twenty zillion things that it already has in its head. When I was a much regular blogger - (when perhaps I didn't have a job that was fufilling or friends to socilize with - although, not to suggest those who do blog regularly do not have those things; only simply that I am too weak and disorganised and distracted to pull it all together) - I used to contemplate a lot. What would be. What is. What could be. When would it be. Now, I'm just living in it. Living it. Loving it. I wish I could somehow make a transition more effectively from 'nomadic-travelling-girl' to 'career-city-girl' in blogging zone. It's like I feel my words only have their place if I'm off on some adventure. I used to hate my career city girl life before. Loathe. Loathe. Loathe. Now, I can't get enough of it. So much so, I really begin to second guess myself on ...

There have been many times over the past few years when I was 'praying to the porcelain god' asking for her to make..it..stop and promising that alcohol would never again touch my lips. It has been YEARS, however, since I've been praying to that same god, without a drop of alcohol to blame it on. Sunday night I went to bed, refreshed from a long weekend in Dublin. Monday morning I woke up with a power drill touring my intestines. I spent the day in bed and in the bathroom, only finally waking up about 7:30 to eat some toast. What made it even more pathetic - or sweet, depending on how you look at it - was that D ended up returning home from work around 11:30 with the same ailment. Sharing the bed and alternating turns at the toliet. It must be love...right? Finally getting my feet back, I'm only just feeling better NOW after I had some homemade soup. Someone asked if a bottle of whiskey was involved. I will say, I wish it was. At least then, it would have been worthwhil...