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In True Colour

I've finally updated my 365 Project and have realised it's going to look a lot more like a 133 project if I don't ACTUALLY put the effort into taking one every day.

I took a look at a few other people's and feeling a bit like..mm..how do you say...I SUCK AT TAKING PICTURES!!! I've only just realised that this whole project is probably mostly for arty good-picture-taking people but in the end, as any good kindergarten teacher would say, if I've had fun, that's all that matters

I'm getting ready to head home in TWO DAYS and I can't believe it. I seem to be having a mix of different emotions about the whole thing

A - I'm so excited to see all my family
B - I am only going home for really, 4 full days
C - D will not be with me
D - I'm so excited to be in an environment that feels more like what I'm used to
E - I'm so scared of what will happen to me when I have to come back

E is the one that is actually niggling away the most. When I would leave Ireland, it was different. There were things that I was able to go back to - like pubs and Marks & Spencers - that I didn't have in Canada/US and I was able to look forward to.

I don't know whether I've been here long enough to find things that will get me excited about coming back. YES PEOPLE I GET THE OBVIOUS THAT D IS A GOOD THING TO GET EXCITED ABOUT but I'm more talking about once that inital burst of glee in seeing him wears off, how will I react?

I'm really trying to love this place. And there are many things about it that I really do. Sauna Sundays have become a favorite hobby - there is nothing more relaxing than a hot sauna after a proper scrub down and a dip in a warm pool. I love the norebangs (singing rooms). Who would have thought you could jsut have your OWN ROOM to sing in, a machine ALL TO YOURSELF to sing away until the wee hours of the morning?

But I'm slowing realizing that this is a place of inequality, of Confucionism at its best, a place where you HAVE your place, you KNOW your place and you don't allow yourself to get caught up in the injustice of it all.

And anyone who knows me well, knows that's one thing about me that I have trouble with. I'm happy to follow the rules, as long as everyone else does too.

I should mostly stay in the moment, be excited right now for the anticipation of the trip and deal with the aftermath...well...AFTER.

Looking forward to seeing all your family members really soon. All I ask is that no one suggest we go and eat any Asian food. Bring on the steaks, burgers and...well anything that you can BBQ or cook in an oven....

Oh ya, and of course my dad's chilli for Superbowl!! Go Bears!!!

I

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