Skip to main content

The Last Case of the Mundays For Awhile

I find this part of the journey so difficult to articulate.

Perhaps this is why I've been so silent here.

Mostly, I just feel it's a very personal time, something that while I'm in the midst of it, I'm just not quite ready to share all the feelings and emotions I'm going through.

Almost like my emotions seem to be changing so constantly, that if I write anything down, it will suddenly become a REAL emotion, one that's not associated with any stress hormones or general anxiety.

And I'm not sure that's really the right way to go. Because I don't think venting in this sort of way will actually solve any of it or even make it go away momentarily. I think it will just paint the wrong picture.

One that you can't easily erase. One that is a distroted view of the actual situation. And perhaps my journalistic side wants me to 'stick to the facts m'aam'. And those facts DON'T actually include my roller coaster emotions.

Because then maybe someone will make a judgement about a certain place or person based on what I've written. Based on my emotionally charged statements.

Which is why I think it's best to simply experience what I'm experiencing without actually verbalising it until I've had the reflection time.

And there's also the fact that with all the loose ends to tie up, the creative part of my brain is mostly just filled with lists.

To do lists.

To buy lists.

To get vaccinated for lists.

To ship lists.

To stop worrying about lists.

But today was my last Monday at work for awhile. After this week, I will be a professional traveller. Or nomad. Or moocher. Or beach bum. Depending on which way you look at it.

So I'll put this day to bed and feel better about at least communicating about my non communication.

And I'll get back to y'all on that real soon.

Comments

Bill said…
I think this is my favorite one of your blogs so far.

Popular posts from this blog

I'm baaaack!

Hard to believe that last entry was almost three years ago!

Many moons ago, I set this blog up to chronicle our journeys. Once we were grounded a bit more, it kind of lost its way. I spent some time working on my writing offline, taking on different projects and working full time as a technical writer. It was difficult to keep this blog up. Not for any real reason I can articulate. Just had my words redirected to other avenues for awhile.
But, I'm pleased to say, after over a decade away, we are back in the UK, living and re-experiencing a place we enjoyed in the mid-2000s.
Social media has certainly changed the way we look at blogs. I'm excited to navigate this new world, explore just what people post, what people read. What's better on one of the many new platforms and what's still appropriate for good old fashioned blogosphere.
For now, here's a peek at where we're staying -- in a pretty little village just outside of Oxford. A temporary home for now but suc…

Focus

My regular journaling has significantly improved my mood.

I've been taking some time, twice a week, to polish existing content as well as develop my floating ideas into a more concrete outline.

I've felt this focus for the last 6 weeks that I can't really describe properly. It's as though I've shifted my thinking totally. Writing is my craft. It's what I do, who I am, how I exist. It's like my mojo.

So, I guess, I've gotten my mojo back. My focus, my purpose, my essence.

And it feels good. It feels right. And I am almost understanding more now why the best writing of the best writers happens when they are older, more polished, more experienced, more rough around the edges.

When all the youthful spark has been extinguished and what's left, is the determined embers, that will not go softly, that will not die out. That will continue, fervently glowing, creating warmth and not just drawing attention from its flicker, but pulling people in by it's so…

In Remembrance

"In Flanders fields the poppies blow
      Between the crosses, row on row,."

When I was eight years old, I carried the Canadian flag in the Remembrance Day parade for our Brownie unit. I can't really remember when I realized the importance of November 11 but I can only imagine that somewhere between learning about that day at school and taking part in a very solemn ceremony that it must have been ingrained in my head to always mark this day.

   "That mark our place; and in the sky
   The larks, still bravely singing, fly"

I remember growing up, the assemblies at school, always with a older veterans, in those days many from both World Wars, would attend. When I got to high school, I remember not being able to fathom how these decorated men and women, had once been my age, had once stood up and fought, and had made these decisions during the same years I would try to decide which route to take from English to Science just to maybe catch a glimpse of my current cru…