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I wanted today's post to be really poetic - but I think when you want something too much, sometimes it doesn't work.

It's my last day of having regular access to this blog. I will not be able to write every day now because obviously, backpacking around Europe is not ideal with a laptop - and I'd want to experience it anyway.

As the day goes on, I'm getting upset. The first person at work has just left and it was the first real goodbye. This is just going to get worse.

I think instead of trying to write something, I will post what I wrote my work colleagues:

"Thank you all for:

Making me feel so welcome
Putting up with my foreign words such as 'pants' and 'vest' and many many more
Being patient with my bossiness - but feeling content to boss me right back - I need it you know!
Making me happy that I chose Yorkshire and not London - Leeds rules!
Letting me sound really smart when I talked about Canada - when I get home, I won't have that!!
Teaching me what's so great about England
Just generally, being a caring group of people to work with and for

I'm not one for much tears, but please don't see that as a sign that I'm not truly touched by the experience I have made here. Leaving Canada was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. Leaving here is turning out be just as difficult.

Please keep in touch - and open invitations to stay with me in Canada!"

At the risk of sounding cliché...

People float in and out of our lives. We really don't appreciate their influence until they are gone. Anyone who knows me knows that emotional things don't hit me until the very last moment.

I remember in highschool, not crying a single time in my last year through all the of 'lasts' - the last assembly, the last Christmas dance, the last Valentine's Day, the last Athletic Banquet, the last Prom. Even the last class. It wasn't until I was walking down the hall at 3:41 to go an party after graduating.

I heard someone shout out:

"We're going to C's (my younger sister) place to swim." And then it hit me. I was gone. It was no long A's place but C's place.

And the tears that started would not stop.

I have a picture of my best friend and I after she comforted me and took me into the cafeteria to calm down. I look back at that picture now to remind me never to take for granted those fleeting moments of emotion.

They don't come often, but when they do, they mean so much.

I can feel that today - more than I expected. And it will definitely be worse when I have to give those keys to my landlord and walk away from my little British life.


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