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A Bit of Sarcasm to Get Me Through

A Bit of Sarcasm to Get Me Through
(concerned that the written word will not project my true feelings, please note that most of this post is pure sarcasm)

I am a neurotic wingnut.

We have met people, had a great evening, made plans for another time and since I have not heard from them, I am panicking.

I am now, automatically assuming, if I go out with people and we set a date to do things, that if they have not called, they do not like me.

I am such an annoying, pathetic, irritating person that the thought of spending one second with me must revolt them so much to the point that they are refusing to call. Ever again.

It is not that perhaps they have other life commitments. Isn't everyone like me? Not knowing many people and going out simply to find friends and hang out with them 24/7?

It is not that people, in general, always make plans and then never follow through. When I was in Toronto I NEVER called last minute on a friend because of work or tiredness or just plain forgot to call at all. No, I never did that. Really. Ask them.

It is not that people don't socialize EVERY DAY with their friends. What do you mean you don't go out with your friends EVERY night of a long weekend and then email and text them about it during the next week?

It is simply that I am a loser and after spending one evening with me, they have decided they have done a public service by humouring me and entertaining me but do not feel the need - nor have the desire - to have to subject themselves to my presence again.

I have been in Belfast FOREVER - is it only over a month? - and have not been able to pin down ANY friends to hang out with.

I have been out with different people on separate occasions and since I have not heard from one of them a second time, I am not worthy of friends.

I am truly hoping my exaggerations are correct. Otherwise, it's going to be a long couple of years. If they are correct, I'm really going to have to nip that "why wouldn't they like me?" phrase out of my vocabulary as it will crush what little self esteem I will have left.

This is not meant to be a whining email. It is meant to be a wake up call for myself.

Just because everything else has fallen into place in Belfast does not mean I am going to meet my *kindred spirit* within a month of living in a new city. Perhaps I have enough kindred spirits spread over Canada, the U.S. and England. One more and maybe my head will explode.

Thank goodness for the telephone. If I can't see my good friends in person, at least I can hear them.



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