Welcome to the 21st Century

I do realise that when we first left Canada, it was the 21st century. It was actually a couple of years into the 21st century.

But it is only NOW that I'm learning of all these new fandangle things that use technology to make life easier.

Over the past 5 years, we have not really been 'consumers' in the true sense. We became sticklers for NOT buying stuff because any money we made was meant to go into savings.

You can be an adventurous travelling nomad but ONLY if you don't spend all your money on the latest Blackberry or that designer bag that would look just..so..good with those new shoes.

Plus, there's the not having-the-internet-at-home thing, which changes your world in ways well, that all of you can imagine.

So, since we've been home, it's taking a little getting use to all this consumer luxury, and the advances that they bring.

I feel a bit like an alien from outer space sometimes when I'm being shown how to use technology by people 20 YEARS OLDER than me.

Take for example, Tivo. Or the Rogers equivalent. I'm only discovering the joy of TAPING tv.

When I was 14, I worked at a little small town grease joint to save money for a VCR. After the summer was over, I used to tape Days of Our Lives (okay all your JUDGERS if you've picked up a People, US or Star magazine in the last year, then YOU'RE reading trash as well - I just happen to be watching FAKE PEOPLE locking themselves in rooms with their toddlers).

It was a bit of a luxury, especially for a teenager, but I always had to be sure to get the VCR 'ready' each morning. And there was always something more pressing. Like how many curls I needed in my bangs to create the perfect claw. Or which Vuarnet shirt would look best with my jeans.

The modern Jetson's set up was so much easier. I clicked 3 buttons and it was set to tape EVERY DAY. My first thought was, 'I wonder what it will tape on Saturdays and Sundays?'. Yes, that was it.

Until someone explained that it just KNOWS when the program is on and only tapes THE PROGRAM. Like some sort of tracking device. It can just sense it.

GENIUS!! I can happily say that I'm fully addicted to the trash that is DOOL.

And that's not all. Even food ordering is different.

Last week, D and I scoured the house for a chinese food menu to try and order. We hummed and haa-ed about what would be the best course of action. Should we just make up some dishes we remembered, call and ask if they had them?

Let's try the yellow pages. Do you know what we found? An ENTIRE SECTION dedicated to take out menus for local restaurants! GENIUS STROKE #2. I mean, you don't really even need technology for this one - just a bit of common sense...and probably a lot of money.

Which, sadly, our chinese food place did NOT have and so, as there was no menu for them, we were stuck again. What could we do?

Ah, gee, I dunno how about GO TO THEIR WEBSITE!!!

That's right. And we found it. And we ordered. And we ate. And all was right with the world. TRIPLE GENIUS!!

But that's not all.

No, people, because last night, we attempted something even MORE outstanding. We ordered our pizza ONLINE. We didn't have to speak to ANYONE. We added our modifications - extra cheese, small amount of sauce - and we didn't have to speak to ANYONE. 4 times GENIUS!!

I suppose these are not the things I was expecting to be surprised at when I got home. I never anticipated what it would feel like to be launched into ConsumerWorld....and, sadly, just how happy it could make you feel.

I just hope we're using this technology for more important things as well like, oh, curing cancer and helping the homeless.