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Confession Monday #3

This process of revealing is becoming a cathartic way to get the week started right. It's almost like letting a truth out about yourself and watching it float away like a balloon.


If it weren't for D, I would be a hoarder. Hands. Down.

As previously stated, I've got a little addiction to reality TV. And when I was watching one of the most recent episodes of people who have their homes stacked with stuff, I had an uncomfortable revelation.

The 'patient' ie hoarder who we are exploiting as we peer into her life began explaining to the doctor why she did not want to throw a stuffed animal she had gotten for her 13 year old son when he was 2 away.

(paraphrased)

Patient: This toy brings back good memories
Doctor: So, is there another way to honour those memories than keeping the stuffed toy?
P: Well, when I look at it, it reminds me of all the times that were good when he was little.
D: You'll still have those times.
P: Yes but I have a bad memory and I might forget them. This toy helps me remember.

*blink* *blink* *blink*

I think if D was in the room he would have enthusiastically started pointing his finger directly at me shouting "SEE? SEE??? SEEEEEEEEEEE??" in an effort to demonstrate that keeping things because you have a bad memory and you don't want to forget is NOT a good reason to KEEP SOMETHING.



It probably didn't help that I was nodding in agreement before I realized that I potentially had something in common with this woman who's 3 bedroom home has to eat dinner in the small space she has cleared away in her living room.

And it got me thinking - perhaps too much? - am I a hoarder? Even a little bit of one? Because, that totally sounded like a logical reason to me.I mean, I'VE SAID THAT BEFORE about items I need to keep. And hey, LOOK AT HER HOUSE. Is that where I'll get to??


Over the years, we have packed up things and stored them places (Thanks D's parents!) and returned to try to clear things away. I always start the process of going through those boxes and deciding what to keep and what to throw away with energy and enthusiasm. Knowing that I will be freeing space in a box for new memories or even just giving someone their garage back.

But having D stand beside me with a garbage bag waiting for me to throw things in it always raised my tension level just a little bit. We would banter back and forth, me usually explaining why I needed it, him explaining why I didn't, until eventually, I would get to a point where I was to frustrated to argue and throw it all away.

Then there was the moping phase, where I would be angry that it had been thrown out and I felt forced to get rid of precious mementos that I didn't want to. That I didn't know existed. That I was keeping for that moment of "oh, I remember this" to then only place it back in the box filled with other items that I may one day want to pull out and 'remember' something by.

And it was through watching this episode that I became aware of the possibility that perhaps my attachment to little movie stubs and theatre programs may not actually be all that, well healthy.

So there, I've said it. I've thrown it out there. I may actually be someone who keeps too much stuff and could potentially end up under a pile of it all if I don't keep it in check. And I suppose moving every couple of years will certainly help to curb my collection.

And the silver lining? Well, the fact that reality TV got a purpose. Ha. So. There. Time NOT wasted.

Comments

Elizabeth said…
Love it. As always... and I know exactly what you mean, since I'm one too! And yes, moving constantly DOES help curb the collection! Miss you! xx

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