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It Was Too Good to be True

You knew it had to happen eventually. You knew things couldn't got smoothly forever.

You knew, eventually, there would come a time when something went wrong in Belfast.

It has just been too smooth a ride for us not to expect hiccups.

And so, the winning record has been broken by none other than...

the Cable Guy.

Perhaps not in the true Jim Carey sense of the word - We don't have a psychopath stalking us, peering through our peep hole.

We actually, have the opposite. No Cable Guy at all.

It all started about 2 weeks ago when we decided that perhaps we should look into getting cable. This was a big step for us. We had prided ourselves on the fact that we were happy living a modest lifestyle.

No need for cable or a landline phone. We are both in desperate need for new clothes but until we get better jobs, we know that's not in the cards. We even got our TV second hand for £30. And the antenna we have wasn't more then a tenner.

It wasn't that we weren't happy with the four channels. We only had five channels in Leeds and we didn't find the need for any more than that.

The problem was more in the reception. Because of the building we live in, EVERY channel was fuzzy and EVERY channel was on a different frequency - if you changed the channel, you were fiddling with the antenna for 10 minutes to get a clear picture.

We figured an expensive antenna wouldn't do the trick. The BBC building is a stone's throw away from our house - it was all the big buildings around us that was giving us the bad signal.

So, we called the company. The price was okay. Plus, you got a free phone with it. Brilliant!

Down side was, it would take 2 weeks before they could come and install it. Aw shucks. Well, at least we could have some time to get excited about our 30 CHANNELS!

So, we would make jokes, when the commercials would come on advertising a show on one of the cable stations.

"Soon, we will be able to switch over.."

"A couple more days and we will be able to watch that show"

Who knew falling in love with TV all over again could be so rewarding?

We had actually been pretty good over the past couple of years and took to reading books more than watchingTVv. When we were travelling, we rarely had aTVv and if we did have one, we were usually forced to watch game shows in a different language.

Having lots of channels and variety would be great. Plus, I could call my mom from the couch instead of from the pay phone.

They were to come this Saturday and we were counting down the days.

So, the call came into D last night as soon as he got home from work.

"Good evening sir, I'm calling from .Unfortunatelyy we won't be able to hook you up this weekend as we have run out of space in your building."

Run out of space? WHAT????? I know it's pretty populated over here but how do you run out of space for a tiny cable?

D - the lover of TV - almost had a coronary.

"What do you mean, you've run out of space?"

"There are not more phone line spaces sir, for us to get into your building."

"We don't care about the phone! We just want the cable"

"Oh sorry sir, we don't do that"

"Why?"

"Because we're a phone company"

HUH? WHAT? DUH?

So, you're a phone company. But you don't have any space left to add a phone line. And you can't give us cable unless we have a phone.

This was confusing enough to understand. Especially since when we asked him where else we could go for cable, he mumbled "I dunno" and sent us on our way.

Plan B - call what we thought to be another cable company.

Yes - good rate - all you need is a phone line.

Okay - now what? Phone another phone company.

Yes - we can set up your phone. Oh, but we have to install the line.

But, we already have the line - at least the capability to have one.

Oh yes, but it belongs to
WHAT....THE ..... FREAKIN?

I'm so lost. The fuzziness in my head now matches the fuzziness of our TV. Perhaps they'll cancel themselves out.

********

On a In A Funk note, I'm slowly slipping out of it. Happy to realize it was just Mother Nature rearing her ugly hormone head. Unhappy to hear the it seems I will become a hormone headcase once a month again.



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