Coulda Woulda Shoulda

I have wore eyewear since the age of 3. My mother tells stories of her heart breaking when we would go to the eye doctor and he would put the "fuzzy drops" in my eyes. The eye doctor said this helped him to see my pupils better. I think that's just something they make up in eye school so that they can get a chuckle out of people having fuzzy vision for 4 hours. At 3 or 4, I didn't understand what was happening. I would grab my mom's arm, cuddle my face into her arm, while clutching at her elbow with my little hands. I would look up at her, clearly trying to focus but unable to, and then mash my face back into her arms in the hopes that when I surfaced again, things would stop being fuzzy. Four hours later, it would be over, but to hear my mom tell it, it sounds like it was an eternity. Now that I'm older she laughs at it but I'm sure going through it, she remembers feeling like I thought she was torturing me. I just remember the ice cream. ...

Listen Fair-and-Equal Gods, I need your help. It is a travesty that I, being so picky and precise, have found my dream job when D, who is open to any industry, is having such difficulty finding something. The irony, I suppose, makes you chuckle in your Fair-and-Equal homes in the sky. I need you to sprinkle some of your vibes down on the owners of establishements in Belfast. He is a smart, dedicated, extremely fast worker who deserves a break - any break - here in this fine city. I will have trouble singing its praises much longer if all the doors that seem open to him continue to close. It is very hard, Fair-and-Equal-Gods, to watch someone you love put themselves out there only to be disappointed again and again. It hurts my heart to see him struggle, especially when he has come so far and done so much since the moment I met him. Find it in your heart of hearts to help him figure something out. I know you Gods help those who help themselves and considering the...

There is a tower clock by the waterfront that has stood for years and years. It was built by Queen Victoria for her husband Prince Albert (I think). It is Belfast's leaning tower. Built on what used to be underwater, the soil is not very good for a large tower like statue. They spent millions of dollars to fix it. It will no longer sink into the ocean. But it still leans. Craic (crack) has nothing to do with white powedery stuff and I partake in good craic quite frequently. A Belfast boy we met learned a hard lesson when visiting Canada when he asked a Canadian policeman "What's the craic?" sadly, in front of an actual crack house. Thrown against a wall and searched, he was able to mumble out the meaning. And learned the lesson "When in Rome..." The sky may be gray to the left and it will be pissing on you but you can see blue sky to your right and the sun peaking out. If you are a lad it's not cool to bring a brolly. Many many soaked rats wande...

My mind was wandering this morning as I was cleaning the house. Partly procrastinating, partly disinfecting a much needed rat hole which had not been cleaned in...well..I confess I've turned into a neat freak and it probably could have gone a couple more weeks my old standards but this morning, well, it was just driving me nuts. I'm not sure whether it was a train of thought that started with me thinking of D out with Australian friends - because he was today and I have found LOADS of things to keep me busy, many of which involved talking to myself but this, you see, is really nothing new. Or, it could have simply been a train of thought of holiday because housework makes my mind wander and the first thing I'd rather be doing is probably being on holiday. But I was suddenly thinking again of an extrodinary week that would not have been had it not been for one simple decision. To be honest, it was pure laziness. We had arrived in Faro, Portugal, around 9 pm, afte...

Girls: Please do not be offended. I am a girl and know how I can takes things too much to heart, misinterpret people's meanings, go a little overboard on my reactions. But please please don't. Just hear me out. Boys: If you're out there, use this to open your minds. For most of my adult, independent, from-university-until-now life I have had either male friendships or female ones that felt like male ones. I would usually get together one on one with my female friends, frequently discussing how we would fix the world if we were elected president. That or how many countries we would travel to and what type of things would be the best to pack. I have not ventured out in big groups for girlie nights, discussing shoes and jewelry and lip balm. I have never been one to dress up and take 3 hours to get ready and go dancing. So, realistically, I shouldn't expect to go out with the above company and a) have anything to talk about or b) have a good time. I like ...

(readers: do not be confused. not MY D but E's D) Well mister, aren't you cute? Your mom sent me the second picture I've seen of you today. Pretty sharp looking. It was a bit surreal when your dad jumped out at the page. I kinda wondered who I would think you looked like when I first saw a picture of but your birth-day picture just didn't show either of them. This one - you're definitely your father's son. Oh dear. I knew it - you are totally NEVER getting in trouble! Just give a smile and a wink and she'll melt...for sure... It's a good thing your dad practised telling me to "Go to your room" and "Get a job" when I stayed with them. He'll be all set to tell himself where to go. You were even smiling a little bit in the second picture. Was that because of all the fun fresh air you get up at the cottage? You know, I love the cottage too. Your mom and I sat for a couple of days planning my Europe trip, talking about lif...

The people that have known you the longest can make you rage more then you ever imagined possible. Perhaps intentionally. Perhaps unintentionally. But it is so hard not to react. Especially when you know what's coming. And you are helpless to stop the actions. And you're helpless to stop the way you are going to react. At least I am. But sitting with this rage is much better then expressing it because the outcome will end up worse then the one I have right now. It's still annoying. The control some people can actually have over your emotions. Nothing a glass of merlot can't fix.

The internet cafe I frequent happens also to have a shop in the front. I never really pay attention to what kind of stuff is sold but most of it is electronics hence, the internet cafe theme. I noticed a couple of weeks ago that, yes, they also sell guns. I assumed they were BB guns. Not being American, I am not used to seeing guns in my local Wal-Mart. You see, I have never actually held a gun. I have never seen someone hold a gun, except on TV and in movies but that doesn't count because it's on a little box and not live, not real. Today, as I was tapping away on the machine I'm sitting at, I heard this clicking. I turned to see a kid - probably in his late teens - sqinting his eye, looking down the barrel, straightening his arm and shooting a gun. No bullets in the gun but shooting it none the less. Right. At. Me. Pointing it right at my face, about 15 yards away, testing his 'piece'. In. My. Face. I didn't do anything but I think m...

I have written three separate long winded blog entries in the last week but have not posted any of them. I get these ideas for short, quirky, mild interesting thoughts to share and suddenly they turn into the War and Peace of the electronic diary world. As much as I always complain about being hormonal, I find that much of my soul searching words are written during a period (no pun intended) of pure reflection. I need to perhaps go back to words and do a bit of editing. I like having the option of simply writing at home. What's even better is that I'm not scrambling in an internet cafe to post something that is completely out to lunch. Of course, that seems to be what I'm doing now. And so, this is short. And not at all inspired. And really, more just procrastinating. Because there are other things I need to be doing at home today. Off I go. Losing more and more readers by the minute, I know I know. Be patient. I'll get back into my groove. I ...