Skip to main content

Calling all Boys

Girls: Please do not be offended. I am a girl and know how I can takes things too much to heart, misinterpret people's meanings, go a little overboard on my reactions. But please please don't. Just hear me out.

Boys: If you're out there, use this to open your minds.

For most of my adult, independent, from-university-until-now life I have had either male friendships or female ones that felt like male ones.

I would usually get together one on one with my female friends, frequently discussing how we would fix the world if we were elected president. That or how many countries we would travel to and what type of things would be the best to pack.

I have not ventured out in big groups for girlie nights, discussing shoes and jewelry and lip balm. I have never been one to dress up and take 3 hours to get ready and go dancing.

So, realistically, I shouldn't expect to go out with the above company and a) have anything to talk about or b) have a good time.

I like conversation. The girls that have taken me here and taken me out are lovely people. Sweet, funny. They may even being interesting conversationalists. But it just seems we never go out for chatty events.

My old work ladies rocked. But getting all 12 of them together for a chatty night out is proving to be more difficult then moving across the ocean.

There are girls that I know - mostly those that are NOT single - who I find I have something in common with. But at this stage in their lives, they have their own friends. I don't think it's that they don't enjoy my company, it's simply that I'm not on their radar when they're organizing an evening out.

Which brings me to my most comfortable situation - chillin with the boys.
My dilemma is this: the boys I meet are either D's friends or want to get in my pants.

As a girl, I cannot meet new boys on my own without them wanting to go further. And it's not the same hanging out with boys D knows because then I'm just the tagging along girlfriend.

My "boys" back home would make puking noises if anyone suggested I might actually be dating one of them. This is what I'm looking for. And sad to say I know this is not possible.

It's hard to explain to boys that I am actually used to their conversations about how hot that chick is that just walked by or do-you-think-Brittany's-are-real? type debates.

Boys are straightforward. I have never wondered what they thought. They will tell me if I look stupid, said something ridiculous or am being a drunk crying girl idiot.

I like this honesty. Girls - myself included - have difficulty being honest face to face. In some twisted way, we don't want to hurt people's feelings. We think that by keeping our emotions from them or talking behind their backs, they will be "less-hurt".

This is not really meant to be a complaining post. More an observational one. More a coming-to-terms-with-the-moving-away-from-everything-you're-used-to type post.

I remember going through this in first year university. Dating D and chatting to guys in bars. I thought I was making friends. He had to explain that boys don't go to bars to make new friends.

I have to decide whether I can put up with the somewhat superficial entertainment I have partaken in as of late or I can put up with not going out.

Both make me feel lonely. One saves me more money.

But if you're a boy in the Belfast area and don't want to snog me or use me to hang out with my boyfriend, I do hope we meet someday.

Comments

flirting said…
Hi there Travelling Chick, I had been out looking for some new information on how to meet girls when I found your site and Calling all Boys. Though not just what I was searching for, it drew my attention. An interesting post and I thank you for it.
seduce said…
Hello Travelling Chick, been looking for the latest info on attracting girls and found Calling all Boys. Though not exactly what I was searching for, it did get my attention. Interesting post, thanks for a great read.
Hi Travelling Chick, Out surfing for information on how to meet girls & happened upon your site. While Calling all Boys wasn't exactly spot on, it did strike a note with me. Thank you for the really good read.

Popular posts from this blog

Focus

My regular journaling has significantly improved my mood.

I've been taking some time, twice a week, to polish existing content as well as develop my floating ideas into a more concrete outline.

I've felt this focus for the last 6 weeks that I can't really describe properly. It's as though I've shifted my thinking totally. Writing is my craft. It's what I do, who I am, how I exist. It's like my mojo.

So, I guess, I've gotten my mojo back. My focus, my purpose, my essence.

And it feels good. It feels right. And I am almost understanding more now why the best writing of the best writers happens when they are older, more polished, more experienced, more rough around the edges.

When all the youthful spark has been extinguished and what's left, is the determined embers, that will not go softly, that will not die out. That will continue, fervently glowing, creating warmth and not just drawing attention from its flicker, but pulling people in by it's so…

Room with a view

We've been in our new home for 10 weeks nos and it's feeling more like home than ever.Every day, I sit down at my desk to the most inspiring view.A collection of stories is building. This space makes it easy to gather my thoughts.I've been consumed with a few work projects and am looking forward to collecting my thoughts soon.Writers club is still going ... I was on a bit of a hiatus but hope to get into my routine for fall. For now, boat gazing is helping.

One thing

It's that time of year again. That time when we all decide to become a little more of our better selves.

It's a good time of year to commit to something, even if just to say you're going to try to make it happen. And, even if things don't change and perhaps you even fail at whatever you were resolving, it's actually just the action of pledging change that really brings the most benefit.

And so, this year, as I'm sure most writers are pledging, I pledge to WRITE. MORE.

Not necessarily blog more. But write more. Keep the act of it going. Commit to treating it as my craft instead of my hobby. Promising to keep it a hobby at heart but a skill in practice.

I've started a daily journal again - one page per day -- of anything, really mostly a rundown of what I did that day. Or heck, even a bit of stream of consciousness of what's banging around in the old head that day.



I also bought another daily Q&A book that, if I'm successful, will carry me across…