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Calling all Boys

Girls: Please do not be offended. I am a girl and know how I can takes things too much to heart, misinterpret people's meanings, go a little overboard on my reactions. But please please don't. Just hear me out.

Boys: If you're out there, use this to open your minds.

For most of my adult, independent, from-university-until-now life I have had either male friendships or female ones that felt like male ones.

I would usually get together one on one with my female friends, frequently discussing how we would fix the world if we were elected president. That or how many countries we would travel to and what type of things would be the best to pack.

I have not ventured out in big groups for girlie nights, discussing shoes and jewelry and lip balm. I have never been one to dress up and take 3 hours to get ready and go dancing.

So, realistically, I shouldn't expect to go out with the above company and a) have anything to talk about or b) have a good time.

I like conversation. The girls that have taken me here and taken me out are lovely people. Sweet, funny. They may even being interesting conversationalists. But it just seems we never go out for chatty events.

My old work ladies rocked. But getting all 12 of them together for a chatty night out is proving to be more difficult then moving across the ocean.

There are girls that I know - mostly those that are NOT single - who I find I have something in common with. But at this stage in their lives, they have their own friends. I don't think it's that they don't enjoy my company, it's simply that I'm not on their radar when they're organizing an evening out.

Which brings me to my most comfortable situation - chillin with the boys.
My dilemma is this: the boys I meet are either D's friends or want to get in my pants.

As a girl, I cannot meet new boys on my own without them wanting to go further. And it's not the same hanging out with boys D knows because then I'm just the tagging along girlfriend.

My "boys" back home would make puking noises if anyone suggested I might actually be dating one of them. This is what I'm looking for. And sad to say I know this is not possible.

It's hard to explain to boys that I am actually used to their conversations about how hot that chick is that just walked by or do-you-think-Brittany's-are-real? type debates.

Boys are straightforward. I have never wondered what they thought. They will tell me if I look stupid, said something ridiculous or am being a drunk crying girl idiot.

I like this honesty. Girls - myself included - have difficulty being honest face to face. In some twisted way, we don't want to hurt people's feelings. We think that by keeping our emotions from them or talking behind their backs, they will be "less-hurt".

This is not really meant to be a complaining post. More an observational one. More a coming-to-terms-with-the-moving-away-from-everything-you're-used-to type post.

I remember going through this in first year university. Dating D and chatting to guys in bars. I thought I was making friends. He had to explain that boys don't go to bars to make new friends.

I have to decide whether I can put up with the somewhat superficial entertainment I have partaken in as of late or I can put up with not going out.

Both make me feel lonely. One saves me more money.

But if you're a boy in the Belfast area and don't want to snog me or use me to hang out with my boyfriend, I do hope we meet someday.

Comments

flirting said…
Hi there Travelling Chick, I had been out looking for some new information on how to meet girls when I found your site and Calling all Boys. Though not just what I was searching for, it drew my attention. An interesting post and I thank you for it.
seduce said…
Hello Travelling Chick, been looking for the latest info on attracting girls and found Calling all Boys. Though not exactly what I was searching for, it did get my attention. Interesting post, thanks for a great read.
Hi Travelling Chick, Out surfing for information on how to meet girls & happened upon your site. While Calling all Boys wasn't exactly spot on, it did strike a note with me. Thank you for the really good read.

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