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Squished

I'm feeling slightly suffocated at work right now. I don't really think there is any other way to describe it.

It's not because I'm battling a cold, although I am so I'm sounding more like a person with their nose plugged and stuffed with cotton balls then my normal teacher self.

It's because this place, this job, it just seems to do that to you.

I made a decision almost 5 years ago to get away from things that stifle me. That prevent me from doing what I enjoy doing. That prevent me from really embracing all the average 70 years I have on this planet. Because, you never know when the one day will be your last.

I'm also not really being that nice of a person.

I snapped at a co-worker yesterday. I snapped at D today. I'm not even finding the energy to be all that nice to the kids.

Like it's their fault I'm feeling this overwhelming pressure.

I'm trying to gain perspective, trying to enjoy what little time I have left here. But the overload of classes and reports and bullshit tests are just becoming too much.

And I realise this time will pass. And that there are more challenging things in this world than living for free as a foreign teacher in Korea.

I guess I just want to make sure I don't sugar coat it.

It's not all roses. And at this point, it wouldn't matter anyway cause I can't smell anything to save my life.

Here's hoping this life vice loosens a little bit. Cause I'd hate to think all that I've done over the past 5 years to free myself from it was all for nothing.

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