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A Mild Irritation

I have started this blog entry 5 times - each with a different message.

My brain is all over the place. I'm easily irritated and getting quite emotional.

I am not pregnant - I'm living with D's parents, need I say more - and I am not PMSing, although I fully admit to succumbing to my hormones the week before my lovely friend arrives. This, however, means its two weeks ahead of schedule, which I know it is not.

I am however, truly annoyed. If only I could figure out why. I feel like there is not enough time during the day however I am not even at work.

I was so happy this morning. Another temp job starts next Monday. This means, I am guilt free for the rest of the week and can actually concentrate on what matters to me - writing.

But I am still irritated. I just looked it up (dictionary.com is a wonderful resource - it gives you multiple responses for words)

1 - To be a cause of impatience or anger.

2 - To increase the action or violence of; to heighten excitement in; to intensify; to stimulate.

3 - To excite anger or displeasure in; to provoke; to tease; to exasperate; to annoy; to vex; as, the insolence of a tyrant irritates his subjects.

4 - To fret; inflame; excite; provoke; tease; vex; exasperate; anger; incense; enrage.

5 - Aroused to impatience or anger.

It seems all I need to do is find the source that is vexing me, pushing me to exasperation, incesing my inner being and arousing impatience in my soul.

Then, I will be able to eliminate this frustrating feeling.

Now, to find the source.

But you see, that is the most frustrating part.

The reason I am irritated is because I can't figure out what it is that is bothering me.

I used to get upset and frustrated and emotional. This year changed all that.

When you begin to be able to cope in awkward situations - such as not knowing the language or snoring in a room with 15 other people - you literally, stop sweating the small stuff.

Why am I reverting? Being back home amongst lots of friends is amazing. Becoming the old me is not.

I'm hoping I'll get out of my frustration rut and stop being irritated.

I wish I could just go to the gym. I need that happy hormone that starts with an 'e'.

I'm going to the mall. In the wise words of Steve Page and Ed Robertson from BNL, "Everything will always be alright, when we go shopping".

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