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Speechless

I went to see the movie Monster last night. Beyond the 'oh isn't it amazing that a beautiful woman could look ugly', I was stunned.

As we left the movie, the friend I was with turned to me and said:

"I just kept thinking, what if this was your life?"

Exactly.

It was exactly what I had been thinking. Imagine being a person who nobody ever loved. Who was forced out into the streets to work for money to eat. Who was on the brink of killing herself and then stumbled across someone who really just wanted to talk to you.

I won't go into details as I think you should all go and see it but it was the oddest feeling I've ever had walking out of a movie.

Because, at the end of the day, she killed people - men. Just because - most of them - were slimy enough to pick up some poor prostitute along the highway, I still can't justify her killings.

I don't think the movie is trying to, though. It's just trying to give you a peek into the life of this serial killer.

Even as I try to write about it, I know that I'm not articulating exactly what I want to say. Perhaps that's the beauty of a spectacular movie. You can't describe it. You just have to see it.

*****************************

Going to try to get to some more writing today. Things here at home are a bit busy right now and I just can't seem to get some time alone. It frustrates me. But perhaps I'm also being my usual distracted self.

I decided I'll make an appointment list for myself and try to stick to it. Here's what I've done so far:

8:30 - woke up - okay, I think maybe that I could have gotten up a bit earlier since I went to bed at 11 but I really like sleeping

8:32 - went to use the washroom only to find someone is in there. Grumpy and irritated came back to bed and started grumping at D about Howard Stern on the radio and how I hate to hear voices in the morning even though occasionally, I really do like his jokes

8:43 - realized I can go to the bathroom downstairs.

9:00 - eat breakfast. My specialist has put me on a high fibre diet. I hate cereal. This does not help my mood and does not really start the day of great

9:14 - realized that the 'backpacking couple' has written yet ANOTHER article in the local paper and am infuriated that I have not gotten my ass in gear to write my stories for them seeing as her stories are a bit more like 'couple on luxurious vacation' as opposed to 'living out of your backpack and eating bread and cheese'.

9:16 - decided that perhaps I'm being a bit harsh as I have now read the article and it was a bit more interesting than there road trip they wrote about the first time. I must write something today.

9:19 - time to check email, write in the blog, read my favs...and discovered a new one today!

9:30 - write in my blog. Rewrite in my blog as everything I seem to write something it sounds stupid

The morning seems to have gotten off to a negative start. Here's the plan for the rest of the day:

9:41 - Staring at the screen now and watching time slip by thinking how I need to post this blog and get writing

10:00 - take laundry upstairs and get dressed.

10:12 - read my travel book - maybe do some exercises to get the writing going.

11:15 - go to the gym

12:15 - Sculpt class at the gym - woo hoo!

1:30 - Arrive home exhausted but hungry. Eat lunch

2:00 - More writing!! Go to your room young lady!!

5:00 - check email, blogs again and Mosaic Minds stuff

6:00 - Feel very satisfied as I will have eaten breakfast, read the paper, written in my blog, did some travel writing, worked out at the gym, finished stories for Mosaic Minds and still have time to drink some wine, enjoy the evening watching Friends and go to bed by 11.

Maybe with this written down, I can stick to it. And live to blog another day

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